Lauri Harris - January 30th Memorial

We have all come together today, to honor and remember one of my favorite people in the world. I am sure that I'm not alone in saying that Benji is a very hard person to say goodbye to. He reached out to many people and spread much love. As I have read the comments and letters from those who were lucky enough to know Benji, there is one thing that remains constant. Whether it's his talents in his career, as a date, a friend or a traveler, Benji is the best. He had the ability to brighten many lives, including mine. He is so thoughtful and so committed. He put his all into everything he did. About 10 years ago Benji wrote me a letter. Today, I would like to read my response.

Dear Benji,

I have been meaning to write you this letter for close to 10 years. I saved the letter you wrote to me in 1996, so really, I meant to write you back. I know I told you that a few months ago, and you said “oh, I would love to check that out”. I'm sorry that we never made that happen. I never thought that I would run out of time to get back to you. I guess I was waiting for that perfect moment, thinking at some point you would be going off to elope, or moving away again. I know you will not get to read this, but I need to write it. You don't know how much I wish I had been home the night you dropped Grommet's things off. I would have given you that hug to say have a nice trip, and then I would have that to hold on to. Unfortunately, we are all far too busy. For that I will always be sad. You know, the more I learn from people, the more I realize what joy, continued friendship, and love you brought everyone who's lives you touched. How lucky we all are. Even those that don't know you, just have to read about you to know and understand what the rest of us cherish.

Our friendship started 32 years ago back on Park Place . It went from football to dolls (I'm sure I made you play barbies at least once!), to endless nights of Ghost in the Graveyard. There was even our wedding when we were three years old, which my cousin Peter was so kind to conduct. Even though we went to different grade schools, we always managed to find each other when class got out. Oh, and life at Haven. How about those tap numbers in Haven Help Us? You are the only guy I know that is confident enough to get up there and tap away with a bunch of silly girls…and you had fun! Of course you could always find the fun and positive side of anything. You always had something going on, and some idea of a new adventure. We managed to make it through those days, probably because of the best party of 1985. Remember that one, at the Metropold? Once again, you brought lots of different people together in one place, and we had a great time! No matter who was mad at who, on which particular day, I always knew my friend Benji would be there.

And then there was High school. I don't think anyone could pay me to go back, but if it meant you would be there, I would go. You were a friend, a confidant, and an ally all through high school. You listened, and never judged. In a way, you knew me better than anyone. I never had to worry about you not liking me. You were just that kind of person. You were never friends with some, you were always friends with many. I only hope that I was that same friend to you.

Although we spent our college years in different places, we still managed to keep in touch. You were even so kind to give up your bed when I came to visit you at Miami . No matter what it was, you were always so thoughtful. Apparently you made just as many people proud to be your friend in college, because you have maintained many friendships.

When we finally grew up a little, and managed to make it to our twenties, you lived such a full life. You were never afraid to follow your heart, and your dreams. You went where you wanted to go, and did what you wanted to do. Aren't you glad you lived life to the fullest? If we could all be so lucky. Even though my move to Colorado was short lived, it was comforting to know you were there. You lived a life I had never experienced, so it was great to see you and to hear about all of your adventures. I was sad to leave you there. I was looking forward to you teaching me to ski. See, I still haven't learned!

How excited I was when you decided to come home and “settle down” as much as you were able. I have to hand it to you, you put your mind to it and you did it. You aced the real estate exam (must be in your genes), found a house, and continued to be a friend to so many. And how I loved to hear the week by week updates on the dating front! Although I could only imagine, I have heard that you are a great date! Just one problem, you are so darn picky! I agree, you have reason to settle for none but the best, but some girl out there is really missing out. You would have been such a great husband Benji, not to mention a wonderful father. I was so looking forward to seeing you in that phase of life, and sharing in those adventures. I think you would have found them equally as exciting as anywhere around the world, and loved it all. I will try to honor you by doing my best to be a great wife and mother. Although I am not sure I can be quite as laid back or as fun loving, I will try. My kids always loved seeing you, especially Nicholas. He could always count on a few climbs up those long legs!

You did it all and lived each day to its end. I hope we can all learn from you. You are kind, compassionate, and so much fun. I know you lifted my spirits on many occasions, as I am sure you did for many. I can only hope that you found my friendship as valuable. I wish that I had taken the chance to say this earlier, but I think you already knew. I sure will miss you. If I am right, your heaven is on a ski slope in Telluride, so that is where I will keep you in my mind, with that great smile on your face.

Your Friend Always

Love,

Lauri