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I still miss you everyday, and I visit you often. Thank you to all of you who keep looking and sharing. It means a lot. Cody still sleeps on grommetts bed!!!
Lauri <harrislg@omcast.net>
Evanston, IL USA -
My son and I were out in Colorado this spring and part of our trip was to snowboard out to see Ben's memorial plaque in the back bowls of Vail, Blue Sky Basin. I have some pictures of the plaque and our adventures to find it, but I wasn't sure how to go about sharing any of these on this site. We had a great trip and it was an epic day, one that I find myself day dreaming about all the time. Here's to you Ben, that day we did choose the paths less traveled and it made all the difference.
Tom Pfiffner <tompfiffner@yahoo.com>
Chicago, IL USA -
I am not sure why I am writing this now, but I know that I have been thinking about doing it for far too long. Ben and I lived in Telluride at the same time. I really didn't know him there, but I often heard him calling for Grommet along the river trail. See, my dog's name was gromit, too. I always thought it was strange that a small town could have two grommetts. I wondered what type of person the owner must be to have picked the same name that I did for my sweet angel. Lucky for me, I got to finally meet the mystery man when I relocated to Boulder in 2001. Ben was a friend of a friend and put me up in his house while I looked for a place to live. He was so kind. We were good friends from then on. After I moved to Boulder we would hike together. One memorial day weekend we drove to the Dolores river and rafted down it with some friends. It was such an amazing experience. The fall before Ben passed, he came to Boulder for a wedding. Brian Houston and I were lucky enough to snag him for a couple of hours to go for a hike. I had just gotten back from Thailand so I told him of all the places that he must go to. I know that Ben got to see some of the most incredible places in the world. And I know that he soaked up every minute like it was his last. At least now he gets to be with his best friend grommet and my best friend gromit.
Kristen McDermott <kristenmcdermott@msn.com>
Boulder, CO USA -
Thank you so much for sharing your trip to Thailand with everyone. Your courage and strength is spectacular. I check the site often to look at some now-familiar pictures and for any updates. I keep framed pictures of Ben and I (and my family) scattered about my house. Man, I miss him so much and talk about him often. One of Ben's friends, Ben B. who also attended his memorial service, is about to leave for a 2-year trip around the world. I'm going to take a cue from the 3 of you and meet Ben B. over in Phi Phi. I'll be contacting you for some advice soon! Peace and blessings to you in the New Year!
Jason <suplizio@hotmail.com>
Seattle, WA USA -
I still miss you everyday. Just seeing your pictures makes me smile. Cry too, but smile. There is so much in my life that I relate back to you, or think about what you would do, or how you would feel about it. I know I am not alone. You are the best Benji.
Lauri <harris.lg@comcast.net>
Evanston, IL USA -
My daughter and Ben were very dear friends. While I never had the pleasure of meeting him, she spoke of him often and I was looking forward to getting to know him. She was avidly looking forward to New Years Eve 2005 with Ben. Instead, she spent that night at your temple with family and friends of his, and the next morning the 2 of us sat in her living room while she told me stories of their times together. My heart still breaks for you, especially Mrs. Abels. I pray that time truly is bringing you peace.
Maida <adreemr@aol.com>
USA -
I MISS YOU ALOT. IT WAS VERY FUN PLAYING CHESS AND TENNIS. GROMMET WAS A VERY GOOD DOG, EVEN THOUGH SHE COULDNT FETCH WHEN WE LAST SAW HER. IM PLAYING SOCCER, WE'RE IN THECITY CUP AND FIRST PLACE IN THE LEAUGE. IM ALSO PLAYING FLAG FOOTBALL AND WE ARE UNDEFEATED. IM DOING GOOD IN SCHOOL AND JUST GOT AN A+ ON MY MATH TEST. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Emmett
Occidental, CA USA -
happy birthday...we miss you terribly.
Jenji and the joy boys
USA -
Dear Abels Family, What wonderful photos from your August 2006 trip to Thailand. It seems Ben would be pleased. I knew Benji, the boy - not Ben, the man. After viewing the messages and photos here, I can see how well he lived and the many lives he touched.
Deirdre Bush <deirdrebush@hotmail.com>
Brooklyn, NY USA -
Hi family and friends of Ben, I was out in Vail at the beginning of March and set out to find the plaque that was put up in Ben's honor. It was a glorious sunny day as I set out for Blue Sky Basin. While it did take some time to get to the other side of the mountain, the journey was well worth it. I found my way to the top of the Champagne Glade run but unfortunately I never found the plaque. I found some locals to help me search around the top of the run for the plaque but after 45 minutes, we couldn't find it. We went and asked the snow patrol if they knew where it might be and they actually said that because of the abundance of snow in Vail this year (locals are saying it's the best season in 20+ years) that there is a possibility that the tree may be under the snow at the moment. Just wanted to know if anyone else had found it this year - or if any of the friends that put up the plaque had any additional tips for where to look once you got to the top of the run. Despite not finding it, I did feel Ben's presence all around me that day and was happy to feel his spirit full of peace and solace. - Molly Conway
Molly Conway <molly_conway@hotmail.com>
Chicago, IL USA -
I just now got around to reading the cover story of Libby North and Ben Abel, which is why I came to this site. Even though I have never met Ben I can truly understand what a special soul he was to those who knew him. My prayers go out to his family and friends. I have recently returned from Koh Lak, Thailand where I was involved with Habitat's First Builders Team. Through every story someone's life changes and memories are cherished and somewhere in the world a difference is made. God Bless, Greg
greg bodnar <g.bodnar@comcast.net>
avon lake, oh USA -
I was really touched by Ben's story.I can feel the diffuculty of losing a family member especially a brother. But we have to move on.That is a part of life.
Anju <karkan9@salem.edu>
Winston-Salem, NC USA -
Hope, Bob and David: My father and I send big hugs. I know how difficult that first year is, and I was thinking of you all on the anniversary of the tsunami. Just wanted you to know you and Ben are in our hearts.
Judy Grossman Germany <judymarv@comcast.net>
Oak Park, IL USA -
I was touched by Ben's story on CNN and felt a connection. My daughter spent her honeymoon six years on Phi Phi Island and all of our three grown children have traveled in East Asia. I have been wanting to contribute again this year to Tsunami Relief and have decided to do so in honor of Ben. Our thoughts and prayers are with Ben's family.
Joan McCaffrey <joanmc513@yahoo.com>
Mahwah, NJ USA -
My thoughts are always with Ben and the Abels family. Please know that Ben lives on in the memories and lives of the countless number of people who had the great furtune of being his friend. I first met Ben about four months after I moved to Boulder, CO, in the summer of 1996. He came to work at the business I worked for and we became fast friends and, a couple of years later, roomates. My favorite memory of Ben is a hike that he introduced me to near the St. Vrain River, outside of Jamestown, CO. It is a flat, woodsy hike along a river bed that reminds me of the hikes I used to take as a kid in the Adirondack Mts. However, there is a Colorado kicker at the end, when the hiker is rewarded with a short climb up a bald faced rock and gets to look out on a spectacular view of Rocky Mtn. National Park and Longs Peak. It's amazing. The only part about this hike that was remotely unsatisfying was that Grommett couldn't make it up to the top of the rock face, even in her younger days. I remember carrying her up once, not the best idea. I think she preferred to stay down at the bottom, faithfully awaiting Ben's return with a smile on her face. This hike has been my favorite Colorado hike for nearly ten years and I make sure to visit it at least once each summer. Of course, this past summer the hike brought back a flood of memories of my great friend and his amazing dog, which made me smile and cry at the same time. Ben was a great friend, roommate and confidant for many years and is terribly missed. If anyone has a hankering for a hike up near Jamestown, just let me know and I will be happy to take a walk with you. Peace to Ben and Gromm. Ryan 12/28/05
Ryan Christ <christrm@hotmail.com>
Denver, CO USA -
I saw the CNN story on Ben today and I must tell you it touched me deeply. Being on the other side of the world from a tragedy like the tsunami has a way of numbing the senses, but seeing the love you have for Ben and the type of person he was, has truly inspired me to be the type of man that Ben was. Athletes and politicians have a way of gaining hero status, but simply looking at a person such as Ben has a way of showing us who the real heroes are. Best wishes from Canada. Matt and Shea (my "Grommett").
Matt Holbrook <fullvolley@yahoo.com>
Vancouver, BC Canada -
Like all of Ben's friends and family, I've been thinking of Ben quite a lot lately. I just lost my father 1 month ago and I've been thinking about how much my life was enriched by the friendships and love I shared with both of these 2 great souls. I value both of them so much and have learned some great life lessons from each; from Ben I've learned to reach out from our sheltered little existences and to embrace people, to make new friendships while nurturing old ones, to live life on your own terms, and follow your dreams. Most importantly, reflecting on my many conversations with Ben has taught me that life's great reward is not received at the end of the journey, but rather in the small moments when we open our hearts and share our dreams, tribulations, and laughter with each other. For 2006 I am going to try to remember Ben by daring to reach out and touch more hearts, of both old friends and new, as Ben did so naturally. Peace to you all.
Jason Suplizio <suplizio_at_hotmail.com>
Seattle, WA USA -
Dear Able family.. i saw Bens' brother(David?) on Paula Zahn today...I was just in Phuket..so the tsunami hit home a little more than "TV" world....I also have a brother whom i am very proud of..he is in Bande Ache at this moment, directly giving money to families in tents...although I am no way prostelitizing, I want to make you aware of my brother's website 100friends.com..I felt a kinship with your family and I think you would be heatened by the incredible work he has done for years..i am so proud of him...he turned his compassion into a very do-able, simple way to help many others..his name is Marc Gold...he is my best friend...I'm sure he and Ben would have been fast friends....thank you and my heartfelt condolences..Valerie Gold
valerie gold <valerieau@sbcglobal.net>
san fransisco, ca USA -
We're thinking of the Abel's family today. One can't help but feel a bit sullen . . . we knew the one year anniversary would come, but can one really prepare for an anniversary like this one? So many feelings . . . and yet, the joy of reading about all that Ben meant to people is quite warming. We pray many blessings for all of Ben's family and friends today and join with you in remembering this wonderful man. He is remembered by our family as a giving and charming person. I swear my 4 year old daughter had a crush on him! :)
The Atkins Family <gjatkins@earthlink.net>
Evanston, IL USA -
Dear Ben and Grommett, Your Friends in Boulder, and around the globe are thinking of you today!!!!!! The world is a little darker place without you. Peace and Love and THANK YOU.
Your Friends in Boulder and around the Globe
Boulder, USA -
Dear Bob, Hope and David: I know Teresa is giving Ben a golf lesson and they are letting Grommett and Muggsy caddy for them. We love you, Cindy, Charles and Imogene Weinshilboum
cindy alford <cjalford@prodigy.net>
scottsdale, az USA -
Dear Abels Family, I sent an email a while back about how saddened I was to hear the news about Ben, I'm not sure anyone read it. Now that's it's been a year, I've come back to this website to post you a message. I still feel tears welling when I think about the loss of Ben, but I feel so blessed to have met him. We met in 2002 in Ecuador, South America. He had such a wonderful way about him...so easy to be friends with, so willing and open to everyone, and respectful to the land and cultures around him. He and I were only friends for a few weeks while he was in Ecuador where I was living, but had attempted to make plans to meet up here in the US when he moved back to the Chicago area. I feel very sad that we never did meet up. We only communicated by email and phone. He was Benito in Ecuador and everyone liked him. He left and came back the day of my birthday party on 6/6/02 and celebrated with me and other friends. A picture of us actually made it onto the advertisement for the local hostel/bar that we hung out at... Anyway, thanks for having this website and allowing friends and family to speak their peace about what an amazing person Ben was for all of us. I miss him!
Amy Laboe <alaboe11@hotmail.com>
Minneapolis, MN USA -
It's been a year.... we miss you Benji.
Carrie <carrie_chicago@hotmail.com>
Chicago, IL USA -
RIP Grommett. What a sweet dog. Ben and I used to trade dog sitting in Boulder. I'll never forget Grom sticking her nose in my face in the middle of the night and whining a bit until I moved over so she could climb in bed and cuddle. Thank you, Emmett, for delivering her ashes. That is quite a task for a fine young man. I remember meeting you at the memorial in Boulder. Much love to everyone touched by Ben. I was just in Boulder and Fran mentioned that he still thinks of Ben at least once a day. Ken
Ken W <Sixpiecebox@yahoo.com>
Montrose, CO USA -
Last February 2005, I heard Linda Allen sing this song, God of All Beyond the Sea, at an impromptu tsunami relief concert in Montreal. I wept remembering my Evanston neighbor Ben, who was still missing at the time. Linda has now recorded this song and sent me the CD. She also thanked me for the story of Ben Abels and his family's search for Ben that I told her in Montreal. Here are Linda's lyrics. We remember Ben and Grommett. God of All Beyond the Sea ©2005 Linda Allen God of all beyond the sea Send my children home to me If they are gone, please hear my plea Let the waves wash over me Sea bird flies where none can hide Above the sea so dark and wide Can you be my eyes today? Are my children on their way? Porpoise leaps above the waves I see him flash, I see him play May my children ride you home? Across the cold and windswept foam God of heaven, God of light God of Earth and endless night God of the sea, where I may rest Rock my children on your breast God of all beyond the sea Send my children home to me If they are gone, please hear my plea Let the waves wash over me A lament for those who died in the 2004 tsunami, and those who waited for them on the shores.
Patricia Walsh <walshpat@hotmail.com>
Tucson, AZ USA -
Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Benji, Happy Birthday to you. I miss you.
Lauri Harris <harris.lg@comcast.net>
Evanston, IL USA -
Ben, you would be so happy to see how the "little" Cali Cousins have grown in the last year. Emmett and Cassidy are taking after their Uncle Ben, brimming with empathy and good cheer. So the beat goes on!
Lois Klein <lois.klein@verizon.net>
Santa Barbara, CA USA -
to ben, I am emailing my grandma back and forth. We are sharing wat is happening at our homes.
emmett
Occidental, CA USA -
im going to Chicago, to bring grommets ashes to BEN. He has been waiting for grommet for about a year.He will be very happy to see us. After chicago i am going to Indiana to ride horses with my dads sister,Robin,i cant wait to see bens grave. Now i am going to the union bakery to have yummy jelly filled croissant and Cassidys at his soccer game now. Wish him luck!!!!!!!!
emmett
Occidental, CA, USA -
I have just heard the news that Grom passed away recently. While part of me is sad another is joyful that she has been reunited with Ben. My sister was the original owner of Grommett and gave her to me when she moved back to Australia. Ironically I was just with my sister in Cincinnati for a few days and we were talking about what a perfect match Ben and Grom were, and what a great life Grommett had lived thanks to Ben. We thought that she must miss Ben terribly. Ben and Grommett were wonderful partners and I am sure they are enjoying a reunion now. I miss Ben very much and am comforted that he has Grom back with him. The Abels family is always in my thoughts and prayers. Love Russell
Russell Sargeant <Russell.Sargeant@SUMworld.com>
New York, NY USA -
On August 4, 2005 our son Tate Benjamin Stark came into the world. While there are so many things I have wanted to say to the Abels family and all who knew Ben, it took a long time to not only accept what has happened, but to do Ben justice by putting something down in writing. Simply put, Amy and I can only hope that our son Tate Benjamin will be as influential, and make as much of an impact on the people he meets throughout life as his middlenamesake Ben Abels did. Our thoughts are always with everyone who misses Ben. Drew, Amy, and Tate Benjamin Stark
Drew Stark <astark@columbus.rr.com>
Columbus, OH USA -
querido benito tu vas a ser en mi corazon para siempre y voy a continuar vivir nuestra passion... viajar el mundo, vivir los suenos, ser feliz. con mucho amor, tu principessa de suiza, nicole
nicole <nicnoc@gmx.ch>
globetrotter, -
My wife and I met the same week I met Ben - at work in Chicago in 1996. After talking for a few minutes we realized that we had tons a friends in common from Telluride/Madison and Chicago too. Knowing Ben, I'm sure he's walking along someplace, daypack on his back, muddy boots and all, without a care in the world. Ben taught me so much about life and how to look at it without even meaning to - it was just Ben's way - I told him that too. Be well my friend - you'll always be with us and your canned green bean-lovin' girl Grommett too. Andy & Jen Kodner - San Francisco
Andy Kodner <asumkod@yahoo.com>
San Francisco, CA USA -
I don’t remember meeting Benji. I grew up with him in my house, in my life, with memories of swimming in my pool, of playing in the Abels basement, knowing that Benji and David were my brothers as much as my own older brother was. When Benji moved back to Chicago a few years ago, we fell back into friendship as if he had never left. I relished hearing his stories, and loved hearing that joy in his voice that never seemed to go away, no matter what kind of day it was. Since getting a call from Hope at 8am on December 26, life has changed. I became a true member of the Abels family, and thank Benji for letting me share his mom and dad’s hearts for a while. I’ve also borrowed his cousins, who let me become the Agent in Charge, a title I hope to hold on to for a while! And now, I have had to find a way to have joy in my own voice, no matter what kind of day it is. I think about Benji all the time. Friends of mine that never met him feel as if they have, and no one was surprised when I got teary at a Cubs game, thinking that Benji should have been there. But I can’t just be sad that Benji is gone. I had to take a piece of him with me. So today, I like to think I am more zen, I am calmer, I am trying to live with more purpose, more intention. And most importantly, I laugh all the time, and tell my friends and family that I love them. Thanks Benji, I’ll miss you forever.
Carrie Newton <carrie_chicago@hotmail.com>
Chicago, IL USA -
I just wanted the entire Abels family to know that my family's thoughts continue to be with you. It's not of any consolation, but I'm certain my Mom and Beth are looking out for Ben. Big hugs ...
Judy Grossman Germany <judymarv@comcast.net>
Oak Park, IL USA -
I stayed with the Abels family from 1980 to 1982 and looked after Ben and his brother, David. Already as a child, Ben was such a caring person who seemed to be all of his friends best friend. He was never short of friends to play with and slumber-parties were a big hit in the Abels home. He was strongwilled and an excellent arguer, really putting up a good struggle to get his way with his parents. Not always with success, though. After all, as all parents know, there are limits. Ben would always call out for me when coming home from school and I would often get a hug. I remember how angry he got once I was not in the house when he came home. After that, I always remembered to tell him in advance. 5 years ago, Ben and his parents came to Denmark to visit my family and I and the following year we returned the gesture and went to see Ben in Colorado. We had a wonderful time, and my children were drawn to Ben, as all children. I´m sure it was due to his easy-going nature. We miss him so very much and we often lit a candle for him and go through our photos from Colorado. My children believe he is the best angel in the sky. Our warmest hugs to his family. Kirsten
Kirsten Hansen <lshansen@mac.com>
Odense, Denmark -
I met Ben as my roomate for 8 months in Louisville, Colorado back in 1997. I have not felt the same since i saw the news how close we all are to eachother. Ben's way of looking at the world has altered mine. To the family may you rest know he affected many in a way many only dream of. I am truley sorry for your loss.
Randy Rose <curbscape@aol.com>
Louisville, co USA -
A letter from a neighbor: Dear Hope and Family, It seems impossible that Ben's been gone for six months, but it makes it seem even more important to tell you how often he's remembered and how much he's missed. A tennis friend of mine, whose son went to high school with Ben, asked about you last night and commented, as everyone does, on what an exceptional person Ben was. And I know similar conversations are taking place wherever Ben knew people. For what very small consolation it may be, I just wanted to tell you again how much people thought of Ben and how much he is remembered and missed.
Julie
Evanston, IL USA -
My good friend, the poet Veronica Patterson, wrote the following poem that resonates for me when I think about Ben and how very much he is missed.

Absent One

When I was a boat,
you were a river, dreaming of oceans.
When I was light, you were a tree,
casting different shadows depending
pn where I was relative to you.
When I was an answer, you were another
good question. When I was a party,
you were Japanese lanterns in the night
and the last guest to leave. You lived here.
When I was alone, you were not so alone.
You were always the one who wasn't here,
whose absence my life referred to.
When I was sleep, you were curtains
blowing at an open window just before dawn.
So I have always counted on you.
If I were a bay horse, you would be
the long tail hairs of the black horse
that stands next to me, sweeping
the world from my eyes.

Judy Chiss <jfchiss@comcast.net>
Evanston, IL USA -
A - Always nice
B - Best buddy
E - Enjoying traveler
L - Loves Grommett
S - soooooo sad
Loved by all.
emmett
Occidental, CA USA -
World Traveler
You’ve taken off again, Ben,
down passages of rivers
along trails of mountains
carrying nothing this time—
no backpack, no phone numbers
of friends or postcard stamps—
for nothing is needed
where you are going, out among
the infinite stars, your body
becoming a blaze of light or maybe
an angel dancing with the others
on the head of a pin—a country so small
it can be discovered only by those
who have shed their bodies.
Poem by Lois Klein June 14, 2005
Lois Klein, Ben's aunt <lois.klein@verizon.net>
Santa Barbara, CA USA -
Hello Abels Family - I wanted to let you know how saddened I was to hear about Ben. I actually got the email that he was missing while I was adventuring in Morocco - I know he would approve! I knew Ben from our Telluride days and always remember him with a big smile on his face - whether heading for first chair on a powder morning, hanging out on main street watching the day go by, hiking with the dogs, or sharing stories over a beer! I am hopeful that you have been able to find some closure, or at least some small amount of peace as the days have passed. I also wanted to let you know that I work in philanthropy and my organization did over $300K in grantmaking for Tsunami relief work - we have done a lot of research on various organizations and I would be happy to share this information or help you with research if you are still looking for groups to fund. I also have a few groups in mind which make me think of Ben and the change he wanted to see in the world. Please be in touch if I can be of any help in this arena -it would be an honor to help you carry on Ben's spirit and memory. My best, Ruth
Ruth Bender
USA -
even though we only knew him for 2 years he was still a great friend and most fantastic, nice and wonderful neighbor ever. -Oakley (12 year-old neighbor in Boulder)
Oakley
Boulder, CO USA -
I was watching CNN several days after the tsunami and I was stunned to see 'missing' pictures of Ben while his brother was being interviewed on the news program. I just sat frozen thinking what the chances were that Ben would be in Thailand at the very moment of this disaster. Then, I remembered who Ben was. Such an adventurer - always seeing things, doing things: he was never the type to sit around. I worked for a law firm in Boulder, Colorado from 1996-1999 and Ben & I worked on the same team. He only worked for me for about 6 months - but was a stellar employee. Because Ben was such an intelligent man, I didn't expect him to be around too long. One day, he told me he would be leaving. We were sad to see him go - but were happy for him that he had found something great. Even after he left the law firm, we still saw each other once in a while - even running the Bolder Boulder together one year. I left Colorado in 1999 to go back to school (overseas) and Ben and I sadly lost touch. I wanted to write here how much I celebrate Ben's life despite the short time I knew him. The impact his genuine, kind, soft-spoken and original personality had on me and those around him was truly significant. I prayed daily that your family would find him. And I am relieved that he was able to come home to you. My thoughts and prayers continue to be with your family.
Stephanie Fourie
USA -
My sensere condolances for the loss you have had with losing someone so close to you, I have tried to search for missing persons trough the internet as so many people with me. even though whe never met anyone of the people who where missing whe wanted to find those persons. It's good to see that he finally came home so you can finally get to the proces of grieving and letting someone go. with kind regards, ramona
ramona
Netherlands -
The number of lives Ben touched shouldn’t be a surprise as he touched mine in such a happy, special way. I will always see that wonderful “here I am” smile and will always feel his wonderful hugs. I will cherish every minute when he stopped to see me and tell me of his beloved dog; his wonderful adventures and of my heart’s home in Colorado. Harry brought him into my life – but he stayed long after the kids were no longer kids and were off living their own real lives. I thank the Abels for giving the gift of Ben and can not imagine their pain. I send all my love, my prayers and my hope that the joy he brought to so many in his short life will be some comfort. You are an amazing and wonderful family. With deepest love, Alice
Alice Barnes
USA -
my name is imily wool. i know ben from high school, but got reacquainted with him recently through becca waller. in august we went for coffee to talk about my two year teaching experience in south america. prior to meeting, i was feeling a bit lost -- it was time for me to return to medellin and i was having doubts, a great first year and all BUT -- my dad wasnt too well, i was thinking i am 33 what am i doing with my life? i should be more stable. i shared none of this with ben. we chatted about my experience and his travels and all the places he wanted to explore -- he talked about living in evanston again and what it was like for him-- explaining that it felt really good to be home but that he knew he would explore more.i left that day rejuvinated - that time, that conversation meant a lot to me. i am sure he had no idea how his gentle voice and smile for life touched me. i shared that with my family that day. i share it with you today.
Imily Wool
USA -
Dear Abels, I wanted to send some photos to you that I’ve found in the photo albums I’ve kept over the years. I was hesitant at first to look for these pictures because I was unsure of what emotions might be uncovered along with each photo, but to my surprise, my first reaction was always a big smile. I really shouldn’t have been surprised at all, because a smile has always been my first response to hearing Ben’s voice, seeing him in person, or reading a postcard from him. Ben has always been such a great person to be around and to know. He’s never just hung out with one specific group of people because he has such a wide variety of interests and a way about him that he could fit in with anyone, anywhere. I’m sure you’ve always been aware of this gift he has, but probably even more so now. What I truly cherish is that I’ve been lucky enough to be a close friend of Ben’s for such a long time. It’s rare to find a person as genuine and loyal as Ben. The things Ben has seen and done go above and beyond the average life. His appreciation of people and the world is special and it comforts me to know, that wherever he is, it is yet another adventure he will experience with an open mind and open heart. He will never regret going on this trip because its part of who he is and one of his passions in life. I know the dull ache you feel when you miss being out there, the joy that overwhelms you when you’re planning a trip, and the exhilaration of experiencing new people, places and cultures. Ben doesn’t usually feel the ache for too long, he’s good about always having something in the works, focusing on the joy and exhilaration. Wherever he’s been, Ben’s carried with him and shared his sense of belonging and generosity which has touched peoples’ lives both locally and globally. This loving, kind and truly unique spirit of his is and always will be very alive in the hearts of all of us who know Ben. Love, Ruth
Ruth (Grill) Murray
USA -
Thank you so much for the continual updates on the search for Ben. Somehow it makes me feel closer to the situation and fulfills my obsession for more information. Tonight I had two updates to catch up on and also read the NYTimes article. It was pretty heavy reading for me. The picture of Grommet with Mrs. Abels sent me back to the years I spent Colorado with my now husband, Ian. It was a wonderful time in our life. We were fortunate enough to be a part of a family of friends in Colorado. Ben was a part of that family. The last time I saw Ben was at the wedding of Francis and Michelle Kelly. It was the first time in quite a while that our Colorado family was together. We were all so happy for Fran and Michelle and we were all so happy to be together. I sat with Ben on the shuttle bus between the ceremony and the reception. I lit up when I saw Ben as most do when he is around. I hadn't seen him in years, but you would have never known. We had plenty to share - Ben had recently returned from South America and I was three weeks postpartum from the birth of my second child. Our lives so incredibly different but he indulged me sincerely. Ben had the ability to make you feel so special when you talked to him. I can still remember the warmth he exuded during our chat. I am so honored to be able to call him my friend. I know Ian feels the same. We cherish every memory of time in Colorado and are so grateful that Ben is a part of those memories. Our thoughts and prayers continue to go out to you. We also continue to hope for a miracle. Love and Peace, Jill
Jill Horowitz
USA -
Dear Abels family, I just wanted to let you know that I check this site daily from my office and that our entire family has been thinking of you and of Ben daily since this tragedy occured. My memories of Ben are from a very young age, but I always remember him being very warm and friendly to both Lizzy and myself when we were growing up nextdoor on Park Place. We will keep you all in our prayers.
Nora Walker
USA -
Our family has very fond memories of Ben (Benji) we used to call him and your family as we grew up across the street from each other on Park Place. We pray for you each and every day. You are in our hearts and prayers.
The Biordi Family
USA -
My name is Mary and I met Ben through my boyfriend, Harry Barnes. Harry and Ben have been friends since childhood. Ben is one of a kind. He's the kind of guy you meet and immediate start thinking about all of your "single girlfriends" that might be good enough for a date with Ben. He is a gentleman. He is kind and generous. He is one of a kind. Ben didn't just ask questions to ask questions. He asked questions because he was genuinely interested in learning about all those he met. Ben didn't spend his days passing time. He "lived" each day. I'm sad for Ben's family and for all of his friends, but most of all, I'm sad for Ben. He had so much living left to do and I know he would have lived it in the best way that he could. He had so many people that he still needed to touch in his special, gentle way. Ben wouldn't want us to be sad. I know that too. To the Abels Family...I come from a very close family. I look at your family and I'm happy that you have each other. I was at the Prayer Service you had for Ben on New Year's Eve. I'm happy that you have your faith too. All my thoughts and prayers, Mary
Mary Moravek
USA -
I can't imagine everything that must have run through the mind of everyone closely associated with Mr. Ablels. To everyone, I am sorry for your loss. Our thoughts and prayers are with the Abels family, I pray for reconciliation of this point in our lives that NOBODY can help but acknowledge. Being a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of Ben, even I still hope and pray for your family to rise up above the trauma that has plauged everyone involved with this search. Best wishes to the Abels family, and although my position in this world is nowhere near those who are truly withing the circle of friends closely involed with Ben, at the very least, I wish that you are able to keep Ben in a part of your world that will bring a smile to your face. God Bless. In Honor, Dan.
Dan
USA -
To the Abels family, My name is Elena Garfield, and I would like to share some thoughts of Ben. I first met Ben in high school when he spent a day in downtown Chicago with Mike Hauser, Jody Hauser, Kristin Berry and I. We all ran around Water Tower trying on crazy hats and just generally acting silly. But truly it wasn’t until I was living in Colorado and Becca Waller entered my brother Joey’s life that I had the privilege to become better friends with Ben (and Grommet of course). He took the three of us,plus Jenny Kean and my then boyfriend to his condo in Winter Park. We snowboarded, played old style video games and hung out in the Jacuzzi. Ben shared his home as if it belonged to all of us. He spent Passover with Joey, Becca, my parents and I in Denver several years ago. I remember so distinctly that after he left we all kind of looked around at each other and one of my parents said, “Ben is a true mench”. And we all knew it was the truth. Whenever I was home in Evanston for a time he and I would go out to Blind Faith where he inevitably ordered the juevos rancheros (I think he was missing South America) and we’d always sit an extra hour or more chatting about life, love, and all the challenges that come with both. When Ben rented a house a couple blocks from my parents in Evanston the whole family was so excited to have him in the neighborhood. He’d come wandering down our street on his way to workout and stop and chat with whichever one of us was out and about. Recently Ben gave me the greatest gift of all. He took in my cat Mortimer when I was desperate for a place to keep him. You probably know the story from Ben, but I can’t tell you enough from my end of it how much it meant to me and how much he helped me by taking Morty in. I imagine he shared with you that my mother was diagnosed with cancer about 7 and a half months ago and that I had made the decision to stay here in Evanston and help out during her chemo. Ben offered to keep Morty as long as I needed on one condition: that I promise to take him back with me. He talked about Grommet, her age and condition and that he felt that maybe he wanted another pet around in part for Grom, but didn’t want the commitment of another pet. This way he could have it. He also knew that I had been planning to head to Nicaragua in late fall. He sent me off with a wonderful long message all in Spanish and told me not to worry for a second about Morty. I feel that every time I was with Ben he was doing something special for someone even if it was just driving them home after a party. He opened his house to not only my cat, but to me as well, giving me a key and telling me to come and visit any time (just knock first). He met my nephew and my cousin from Israel when they came over to meet the animals and see how Morty and Grommet had matching fur color and matched Ben’s house too. Ben was always so gracious and sweet. I know how desperately he is missed by so many people. I know that just the story of his life, his disappearance, your family’s love and faith and hope has made a horror that is so many miles away feel like it is happening right next door. The story of Ben has given this tragedy a face. But even more importantly I think the descriptions of who he has always been and how he has lived his life has reminded people what love, kindness, generosity, genuine good will, and a true appreciation for living look like in a person who comes by all those traits naturally and without hesitation. When someone hears his story they can not help but see that along with the loss and pain and heartache that your family and those close to him are experiencing…there is also something wonderful that Ben was always sharing. Ben has reminded us all that truly good people still exist in this world, still touch the lives of so many and influence everyone around them. What a gift. Thank you for continuing to share Ben with all of us. With much caring, Elena
Elena Garfield
USA -
I have been struggling to find the right words since hearing about Ben – this poem says it better than I will ever be able to. ----------- NOW, WHEN THE WATERS ARE PRESSING MIGHTILY Now, when the waters are pressing mightily on the walls of the dams, now, when the white storks, returning, are transformed in the middle of the firmament into fleets of jet planes, we will feel again how strong are the ribs and how vigorous is the warm air in the lungs and how much daring is needed to love on the exposed plain, when the great dangers are arched above, and how much love is required to fill all the empty vessels and the watches that stopped telling time, and how much breath, a whirlwind of breath, to sing the small song of spring. - Yehuda Amichai (Translated, from the Hebrew, by Leon Wieseltier.) as seen on the back page of The New Yorker, Jan. 10, 2005 -------------------- We love Ben. We miss Ben. We dare to love still. We dare to love again. We add our breath to yours in singing that small but glorious song of spring. We celebrate Ben. -Andy, Simrin and Aman
Andy, Simrin and Aman
USA -
I am sorry... Im very sad about this. Im from Argetina and I met him in my country. I'm sad Sebas
Sebas
Argentina -
Dear Abels family, I came accross Ben's story on the lonely planet forum and although i don't know Ben or your family, I check this site everyday and sympathise deeply with you. Reading all the comments, Ben seems to be a lovely, caring and optimistic person and i can't help feeling somehow affinity with him, like Ben seems to be the person i would have loved to meet on my travels. I'm convinced that Ben's life made his footprints in many lives and that somehow this thought helps you to get through this difficult times. I didn't know Ben, but I wish I had... I wish you all the strenght you need to let yourself to be happy again filled with beautiful memories of your son Ben. Love, Karolien
Karolien
USA -
Dear Abels Family, We were very shocked to hear the news about Ben last night and have been thinking about your family ever since. We are very sorry for your loss and cannot imagine how hard these last few weeks have been. We are friends of Ben's from Vancouver, B.C. and enjoyed some great times with Ben in South America and in Vancouver when he came to visit us. We first met Ben on a bus crossing the border from Ecuador to Peru, and hit off a good friendship immediately. We spent the next few days travelling together and then met up again in Cuzco to hike the Inca Trail to Macchu Picchu with other friends Heidi and Cesar. After that, we moved on to Lake Titicaca, where we experienced high altitude living eating very bony fish and a game of cards wrapped in sleeping bags, gloves and toques, Copacabana and finally to La Paz. As many others have mentioned, Ben loved to travel and we benefited greatly from his excitement, his love for Latin culture and the Spanish language, and his upbeat demeanour even in uncomfortable circumstances. We were fortunate enough to stay in touch after returning home and had a great time reminiscing about travel stories when Ben came to visit us in Vancouver a year later. We will always remember Ben's great smile and stories about his family, friends and especially his dog. It is amazing how much you can learn about and how close you can become to someone when you spend countless hours on buses, hiking trails, slow moving boats and trains, and cafes that allow you to sit for hours over a single cup of coffee or tea. I think it is part of what Ben enjoyed most about travelling and we are so grateful that we had the chance to spend part of that experience with him. We spent some time today looking through pictures of our time in South America and were happy to see his big smile in every picture. It was nice for us to remember him in that way and to know how happy he was experiencing different parts of the world. Once again, we would like to pass on our regards to everyone in your family and the countless friends that Ben has made both in the U.S. and around the world.
Chad and Riza Hoskins
Vancouver, B.C.
To the Abels family, I’ve written this email in my head at least a handful of times each day for the past three weeks. I kept waiting in hopes that Ben would turn up somewhere in a hospital or helping with recovery efforts. And a big part of me still hopes this happens. Though as you wrote on benabels.com last week, we must be realistic. So it’s time for me to share my story of Ben with you. My husband Bryan Smith and I met Ben five years ago in Boulder, and because of our shared interests in travel, dogs, Latin America and the Spanish language, Ben and I became fast friends. We enjoyed many special moments – staying up til the wee hours talking about our latest travel adventures, going to outdoor concerts, lingering over homemade dinners and his favorite mead wine. He touched my life in so many ways, everything from teaching me to drive stick shift in his blue Subaru to introducing me to wonderful Latin music (I’ll cherish the CDs he made me forever). Bryan and I were lucky enough to have Ben and Grommet stay with us a couple of times prior to his departures for Mexico. We have a hilarious picture of the three of us the night before he left in October 2002; Ben has a Mohawk! The last time I saw Ben was in September when he came to Boulder for Mark Hilgeman’s wedding. Ben called me when he got into DIA and met me at my office in Boulder that afternoon where we got carried away talking and were a little late for a wonderful dinner Bryan had made for us at our new home. Over dinner, we talked a lot about marriage and babies (I was 5 months pregnant at the time) and Ben’s upcoming trip to Asia. Bryan and I had been to Thailand a couple of years earlier and highly recommended Ben visit Koh Phi Phi – a gorgeous island with great snorkeling and a truly laid-back atmosphere, a place we thought Ben would love. I feel more guilt than I can express about having made that recommendation. The last email I had from Ben was when he was in Hong Kong. He emailed to wish us happy holidays and a safe delivery of our baby (due Dec. 30). He also said when he got back to Evanston, he was planning to send a copy of his favorite childhood book for our little one. I went into labor on Sunday, December 26. On the drive to the hospital we were listening to NPR, and that’s when we first heard of the tsunami. The report said that a tidal wave had hit Thailand, but it didn’t mention Phi Phi. The next morning, after 19.5 hours of labor, we gave birth to Sofia Dyane Krodel Smith, a beautiful little girl that we’re calling Sofi. When Bryan checked his voicemail after we got settled in the post-partum section of the hospital, there was a message from our friend Jim telling us that Ben was missing from Koh Phi Phi. We were stunned. Since then I have cried for Ben every day – in part because of my new motherhood hormones, in part because we’ve been playing his CDs and they keep bringing back memories, and in part because the only thing on our refrigerator is Ben’s Mohawk picture which leads all of Sofi’s visitors to ask for the story behind the photo. And so we tell them about Ben, his sense of adventure and interest in other cultures, his compassion and generosity and his incredible spirit. Telling his story helps make the terror and travesty of the tsunami more real for each person who sees his picture – and it has led some of them to make contributions to relief efforts. The birth of my daughter was the most amazing experience I’ve ever had. I only wish I could share that story with Ben. In the coming years, Sofi’s birthday will no doubt be a time of celebration, but it also will always be a day when I think of how we lost Ben. There’s a saying that every time one good soul departs this world, another enters into it. Perhaps our little Sofi is the soul that has entered in Ben’s place. Regardless, I hope that she shares a bit of Ben’s zest for life, his respect for others and his spirit. We are making a contribution to Ben's Tsunami Relief Fund on behalf of Sofi. And because she will still be too young to travel on January 30, we will not be able to make it to Ben's service in Evanston. But Bryan and I send our love and thoughts to all of the Abels in this most difficult time. We hope that somehow you can be at peace. And we hope for Ben’s eventual return. Much love, Beth
Beth Krodel
Boulder, CO USA -
Dear Abels Family, I wanted to thank you for forwarding this. I've been following the blog regarding the search for Ben, and have been praying for a miracle for him and for your family. Ben is one of the most fantastic people I've ever known. I worked with Ben at RSI since 1997, and enjoyed looking after Grommett during some of Ben's many adventures. While working with him, I had the opportunity to travel with Ben for work. Sales trips tend to be pretty stressful, but Ben's style was incredible supportive and easy-going. We had a great time, and still brought back business for the company. It opened my eyes to an 'alternative' way of approaching work and stress that I still carry with me today. I remember asking him where he got this approach, and he told me "Grommett doesn't do no stress". We laughed hard about that. The last time I spoke with him, middle of last year, he was very excited about how things had been going. We had always talked a lot about career and life decisions, and in revisiting his move back to Evanston, he was really thrilled with how things had been working out. I think he was so delighted to be back near family and working in the real estate business. He was able to incorporate his love for travel into his schedule, which was so important to him. The day I found out Ben was missing, I ran across several gifts and cards from Ben over the years -- pictures of Grommett, cards and books from when my sons were born. It tore my heart that a light like Ben could possibly be gone. Ben really touched my life, and I am grateful to have known him. I believe that Ben lived better than most of us in his short life. He experienced everything deeply, peacefully, and satisfyingly. We can all learn from his example. You must be a wonderful group of people to have created and raised such a person. I send you my deepest sympathy for your loss. I will never forget Ben, and will teach my kids what I learned from him. Love, Jaye
Jaye Lampe
Boulder, CO USA -
Nano, one of Ben's many friends around the world, sent this note to David, Ben's brother. Dave, I'm really sad at the moment. I knew Ben is missing last friday because Carrie (a friend of Ben) sent me an e-mail to tell me. I knew Ben when I was in Europe on 2000. I was traveling for six months and met people from a lot of countries. But I can say that Ben is the only guy that became my friend outside Argentina (I'm from Buenos Aires). He is a really great person and a good friend!! One or two days after the tsunami I received a post card from Ben when He was in Hong Kong and I had no news until last friday... My family (my parents, my sister and my brother) and my girlfriend canｴt believe the news about Ben. They know him when he stayed here in Buenos Aires. For me is imposible to go there for the service but I'm thinking in Ben all the time and I hope he will appear. Dave, please read this e-mail to your parents and tell them that all that can I do from here I will do. Just tell me. Sincerely, nano
Nano
USA -
I consider myself one of Ben's closest friends as he is certainly one of my dearest friends. We email and speak frequently; at least talking once every 2 weeks for a decade now. In fact, I received several emails from him during his trip (I believe he was in Hong Kong and just left Cambodia). I wrote him back and told him that, considering how my life is so busy right now (pregnancy and kids) that I truly admire his free spiritedness and that he continues to live life exactly on his own terms. Ben stayed with me in June for a week (we had a party for him) and I remember telling him that more than any individual I know he is amazing at creating and maintaining meaningful and lasting friendships. During that visit, my wife Abby told Ben that he's her favorite of all my friends that she wishes he lived in Seattle so that we can spend much more time together. I've attached some pics of Ben with my son Gabriel and from his visit in Fall 2002 (right before he traveled to Mexico) on a trip we made with him to Mt. Baker, Washington. I got us a cabin up there and we had so much fun. I will continue to pray for you and your family and for Ben. Please remember that I am sincere in my offer to help you at any time and would be honored to do so. Much love and respect, Jason Suplizio
Jason Suplizio
USA -
Hi. We are one of your neighbors on Payne Street. We met you once, Mr. Abels, when my daughter was selling Girl Scout cookies. When we heard of your heartache with Ben, we were tremendously saddened. Whenever we pass your house, I say a silent prayer for you in the hopes that your miracle will happen. Please know that there are people all around you with good thoughts for you, praying for all of you.
Christine Martin
USA -
This evening I received a phone call from my good friend Ellen Page in Boulder, CO. Ellen shared with me the sad and shocking news about Ben that she had just learned from the Paula Zahn show. I used to live in Boulder (about 7 years ago) and knew Ben through Ellen and Ryan Christ. Although I did not know Ben very well or for very long, his friendliness and kindness made an impression. Just recently I was telling the story about the first time I ever had sushi. I was out to dinner with Ben and he patiently walked me through the process (which was particularly impressive on his part given my lack of dexterity with chopsticks.) Ben simply smiled and pretended not to notice the total mess I made. I'll always remember Ben with a smile on his face. To the Abels family, I am deeply saddened to hear of your loss. I hope you find some comfort in the beautiful stories about Ben written by his friends and by knowing he touched so many lives in such a positive way.
Hillary Collyer
Washington DC, USA -
Sorry to hear about Ben. He was a good friend of mine. We stayed in B.A, Argentina together for a few months. He was a good person. I live in Phuket and we would have gone to Phi Phi together but I had to come home to Australia 3 weeks before, for family reasons. I go back to Phuket next month to work as a teacher. I will visit Phi Phi and to make some prayers. Taare ( Kiwi mate ) know from Hostel Clan, Argentina.
Taare ( Kiwi mate )
USA -
Dear Abel Family, I have recently learned about Ben and would like to express my sympathy to your family. I live on Jen's old street in Oakland and met Ben as he came and went. While I didn't know him well, I recall the excitement that his visits brought and the enjoyment he gave to Jen, Cassidy, Emmett and Alex. Best Wishes, Prudence, Rika, Jean-Luc and Michael
Prudence, Rika, Jean-Luc and Michael
Oakland, CA USA -
Thanks for all the time you've been spending to keep those of us who care about Ben appraised of how the search is going. Although Ben and I worked together in the software industry when he lived in Boulder, it was during this last year that Ben and I reconnected as we shared with each other the ups and downs of being in real estate (he in IL, me in Boulder). He has given so willingly his time, insight, and humor to help talk me through some challenging times, and he has been SO incredibly supportive. I feel so grateful to have laughed as hard as I have with him, enjoyed his incredible spirit, and shared our love of dogs and Central America with each other. I want his family to know how many of us are thinking of Ben in such a wonderful and positive light and that we are sending our love and light to you now.
Adrienne Custode
USA -
I met Ben Abels in 1996 while working at A Bar A Ranch in Wyoming for about six weeks that summer. I too remember his fantastic outlook on life, his smile and his kind words for our mutual friend Maeve O'Meara. I remember Maeve telling me about her friend Ben when i starting packing for A Bar A that summer- "he's such a great guy - smart, funny, hardworking." As always, Maeve was right. I thank you all for keeping us informed through this site- i've been checking it everyday since i heard through Maeve that the site was up. My thoughts and prayers are with you all and I send many get well wishes to Libby. Love, Karen
Karen Ullman
USA -
I would like to thank the Abels family for continuing to share the details of their search for Ben with all who know and love him. It is comforting to know that your search is leaving no stone unturned. More than anything, the love and affection motivating your every step somehow connects me to the warmth and caringness of Ben's soul. Many blessings and my love and prayers are with you all.
Jason Suplizio
USA -
I had lunch with Ben about 3 days before he left Chicago. We talked about his love of travelling and how, even though he usually started these trips alone, he never ended up travelling alone. He said the world was a friendly place for the most part, and wherever he travelled, there were always other interesting people out there whose company he'd welcome. Hope, Bob, David, and the rest of your wonderful family...you are never far from my thoughts. I check here for updates every morning and every night. If I can be of any help, you need only call. With love, Alison
Alison Crane
USA -
As you know there are no words that I can say that will change things for you....I continue of think of you and pray for all of you..appreciate the information that is posted online...it helps knowing how things are going... love joanie (a hug and a pet to gromett)
Joan Hess Russell
USA -
Dear Hope, Bob, David, and the extended Brown Family, I have been keeping up with the search for Ben daily and pray for his return home to all of you (and Grummet). I have some information that you may be interested in pursuing. There is a psychic named Mel Doerr who works closely with the FBI on cases and he is someone I have met with on two occasions for personal reasons. He is extremely gifted and the fact that the FBI works with him is a definite plus. His phone number is (847)590-5411. He, most likely, will provide you with concrete answers as well as bring comfort during this trying and devastating time. My, my parents' and my siblings'thoughts are with all of you. With Love, Kim and The Burk Family.
Kim Lazarus
USA -
My husband and I are Beth Emet members and just wanted all of you to know that you are in our thoughts and prayers.
Hilarie
USA -
I have known Ben since elementary school, but was never necessarily a close friend. He was always just a nice boy in my class who I still have fond memories of to this day. I saw Hope,who sold my parent's house, on TV the first time they were on NBC News, then saw Benji's picture the next day on CNN.com and have been looking for information ever since. I now check this site regularly. Although I live in New Jersey, Evanston and my memories still remain close to my heart. I mentioned Benji (that's how I remmebr him) to a friend here and they told me they new his story from the NY Times today. I just read the article and it mentioned you were looking for fingerprints. I remember as a child, I think the Evanston Police Department took our fingerprints once on a Saturday for free in case we were ever lost or kidnapped as children. Your family may have used this service and the fingerprints may be on file with the police. It may be ashot in the dark, but thought you might want to know. My prayers are with all of you.
Amy Winn-Dworkin
USA -
Dear Hope, Bob, Lois, Jenny, Martha, and Family, Have been checking this link often and my love and prayers are with you and Ben.Now I am following David as he aids in the search. Although I have never met Ben, I have known the Brown family all of my life and I feel like family. My heart aches for you and yours. I wish there was something to say to comfort you. Please know you are never out of my thoughts. LOVE,DIANE
Diane Siegman
USA -
Hello-I don't know the Abels but I just read the NY Times article and I'm sending you my hopes that Ben turns up. I really feel for you. You are in my prayers. Heather
Heather
USA -
Thank you for the update. I know I speak for the vast majority asking for ANY updates that are encountered throughout the day. I hit the site multiple times/day looking for any news about the progress. With information on rescue/recovery becoming less frequent on the news, I am relying on this website to keep me (and other friends) informed. As always, Ben and the Abels family continue to be in my prayers.
Phil Hall
USA -
I have known the Abels family for as long as I can remember (Ben and Dave know me as a Traub) I think I even shared a crib with Ben for naps as a toddler. my family and I have been thinking about Ben, and praying for his return daily. We have also been thinking about Hope Bob and Dave as well as the rest of the family. Even my 7 year old step son is concerned, knowing he would be very scared if he would not find his parents for as long as Ben has been "lost". We will continue to keep you all in our thoughts. Thank you for spening the time to keep us all updated. Your graciousness and thoughtfulness for others in this unreal and most difficult time amazes me. Love, Erica
Erica Chaplin
USA -
Thank you for the updates on Ben. My family just adores him, especially my 4 year old daughter who affectionately refers to him as "Ben, the house guy." He found us a beautiful home in Evanston just two months ago, and we think about him daily as we continue to set up house. She drew him some pictures that we dropped off at his office 2 weeks ago and we are fervently praying that he will come home. He is a wonderful person and we miss him. Thank you for keeping all of us "Ben Fans" in the loop.
Joline
USA -
I too went to ETHS and knew Ben. Although we were not close friends, what I did know of him was that he was known to be one of the most down to earth people you'll ever meet. I now live in Arizona and when I heard the news from Evanston, I was stunned. I can't tell you how sorry I feel for your family. My families prayers are with you. Sincerly, Anna, Tony and Sadie Vivirito (Stanard)
Anna, Tony and Sadie Vivirito (Stanard)
USA -
Ben is an incredibly thoughtful, encouraging, patient and unbelievably kind guy. We met in September; I had the opportunity to celebrate his birthday with him and enjoyed our numerous adventures over the last few months. Ben cheerfully attended the circus on a moments notice with my son and I. To spend quality time with my son and give me a break, Ben once rocked Hunter for an hour to put him to sleep. He always remembered to order extra takeout for the babysitters whom he referred to as "Hunter's Harem". Thank you for putting this website together and for all of the news on your exhaustive search. I am so sorry for your agonizing experience. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers everyday. Thank you also for raising a man that made such a positive impact on so many lives. I miss him very much. Jen Flaitz
Jen Flaitz
Chicago, IL USA -
The Abels Family - I would like to take a moment to say how deeply sorry my family is. Ben and I are longtime ETHS friends and have been on countless trips together-some of the best times I've ever had. Ben is and will always be a true friend. You are blessed to have so many people that care and have reached out in search of Ben. That alone speaks volumes to how many lives Ben has touched. Our thoughts and prayers are with you always. "PRIDE"- always and forever Ben! Love Mike, Cheryl, Jordan Nelson
Mike Nelson
USA -
I've known Benji since we were 6 years old. Can't believe it's been over 27 years. He and I have had some of the best moments of our lives together. I cannot say there has been any time since last Sunday that I have not been thinking of him or Hope, Bob or David. Thank you for setting this site up to keep us informed.
Harry Barnes
USA -
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Abels, & David- My name is Sarah (Nelson) Freza and I got to know Ben through his friendship with my brother, Mike, during high school. I, too, as others have wanted to share my deepest sympathy to you and your family. Ben has been in my thoughts and prayers ever since I heard of the awful tragedy. My immediate thought upon hearing of Ben was he is such a kind, incredibly friendly person and I know he will be ok. Many memories have filled my thoughts over the past week and a half, but one of the most precious memories I have of Ben is after I moved to Denver and realized Ben was living in Boulder. Shortly after my daughter was born in 2000, Ben came to our house for a small get together of some Evanston folks and he brought my daughter a beautiful book of stories written by Hans Christian Anderson. The treasured book has always sat on my daughter's night stand and every time I have picked it up to read her bedtime stories I have thought of Ben. I remember, as well, his "brotherly" guidance and kindness as I attended Miami University for a year as a freshman and he would call me just to simply check on how things were going. He truly is a remarkable person who has touched many lives in numerous ways. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Sincerely, Sarah Nelson Freza
Sarah Nelson Freza
CO USA -
Dear Abels Family, My name is Russell Sargeant and I was in Ben's small SAE pledge class at Miami. Ben and I then lived in the same house as seniors at Miami. I am also happy to say that I was the one that brought Ben and Grommet together...I'm so glad I did as they were a perfect match for one another. Ever since I received the news on the 27th, Ben has been in my thoughts and prayers everyday. My prayers are also with you as we all wait for some news on Ben. Ben is a wonderful friend who could always lighten the room and make anyone and everyone feel comfortable. Thank you for keeping us all posted through this site and please know that there are so many people thinking of and praying for Ben and for your family. Russell
Russell Sargeant
USA -
I'm so sorry for your difficulties. I read this story in the Tribune upon return from holiday. While I don't know your Ben, I know he must be a super-duper wonderful guy. Anyone who spends any great length in Telluride (my favorite place in the world) is just simply great. I told my mom of this story. When I told her that he spent time in Telluride after college, she responded with, "Oh, he's our kind of guy!" My wish for your family is comfort and serenity. You're in my heart.
Anonymous
USA -
Dear Bob and family, I was shocked and saddened to learn of Ben's disappearance in Phi Phi. Please know that you are all in my thoughts and prayers. Your son and your family have touched so many people so very deeply. This blog is a testament to that, as is the public resolve to find Ben. I wish you all the strength and courage possible to face each coming day and continue your search. Please let me know if I can be of any help. Much love, Theresa (from Oakton Jazz and Hocus Pocus)
Theresa Lams
USA -
My name is Lalitny Tesseo a staff at the Royal Thai Consulate-General, Chicago. I just would like to let the Abels's family know that our office has requested the Ministry of Foreign Affairs to help search for Ben Abels since we heard the news on Dec 27. My thought & prays are with your family. If there is anything that the Royal Thai Consulate-General can do for you please contact us at 700 N.Rush St., Chicago,IL60611 Tel 312-664-3129.
Lalitny
USA -
I, too, went to ETHS with Ben. Thank you for the updates. My thoughts, my family's thoughts are with the Abels family.
Jason Narducy
USA -
my name is randy and my mom ( marcia) is a relative of ben and we just wanted to say that we are praying for him very much
Randyman
USA -
Dear Abels family, My name is Shelly (Broadright) Albright. I had the pleasure of getting to know Ben while attending Miami U. I got to know him through a housemate/sorority sister of mine (Libby is also a sorority sister). I hadn't spoken with him in years; however, I never forgot his contagious smile. I have even referred to him as "one of the nicest guys you could ever meet." I just wanted to let you know that all of you are in my family's thoughts and prayers daily. We hope that knowing how many people Ben has touched throughout his life gives you some comfort as you deal with this difficult time. Shelly
Shelly Broadright Albright
USA -
Our thoughts and prayers go out to the Abels family. Bob- if there is anything we can do, please let us know. Jerry and Emily
Jerry and Emily Langfeldt
USA -
My name is Sarah Kowal Wernikoff. Ben and I have been friends since about 1983 when we attended tennis camp together in Wisconsin. Our friendship continued when we both ended up at Miami...and we've managed to keep in touch over the years ever since. Ben is an outstanding person, the sweetest guy, a great friend. He and his family have been in my thoughts and prayers continuously since I heard of this very sad news. Thank you so much for the updates on this website. With love and hope, Sarah
P.S. Libby was in my sorority at Miami -- I have not been in touch with her since that time but if her family is checking in on this site please know that she has been in my thoughts as well.
Sarah Kowal Wernikoff
USA -
Jen, Our thoughts of love and hope go out to you and your family. Your generous spirit is so greatly appreciated at this important time. With love, Claire, Jeff, Nate and Cole
Claire, Jeff, Nate and Cole Stephens
Oakland, CA USA -
Thinking of you and praying hard and believing in miracles. with much love, joanie
joan hess russell
CO USA -
I am one of the many, many ETHS alumni who are thinking of Ben and sending hopes and prayers. I last saw Ben in 2002 at Becca and Joey's wedding, where Ben spent much of his time taking fabulous pictures of the gang, including a very sweet picture of my son and me which will always be special. Thank you for keeping us informed. Katie, Nathan, Will and Elizabeth
Katie, Nathan, Will and Elizabeth Overberg
USA -
My name is Amy Sauers Hubbard and I met Ben in 1994 through friends in Telluride. When Ben moved to Boulder, our friendship grew and we have kept in touch ever since. My husband and I were shocked to hear that he is missing. Our thoughts are with all of Ben's family and friends and we will continue to be hopeful for his safe return home. Thank you for setting up this blog to keep us updated on his situation. Sincere regards, Amy, Dale, Grady & Charlie
Amy, Dale, Grady & Charlie Hubbard
USA -
Dear Abels, Carmen and I were shocked and saddened to hear the news that Ben is missing. Our thoughts and prayers go out to all of you. Yours, Bant and Carmen
Bant and Carmen Breen
USA -
Abels- It seems not so long ago that Bengie and I were playing soccer or tennis at Lovelace Park. Recently, Bant Breen tells of playing doubles tennis with Ben feeling every day of their 33 years. It is my deepest hope that Ben will return to us so we can continue to grow old together. Our prayers are with you in this most heart wrenching search. Greg and Leslie
Greg and Leslie Janes
USA -
Dear Hope and Bob, we send our prayers, love and support to you and your family during this awful trial. I know what you're going through. Stay strong for David and yourselves. We'll be back in town Jan 14th, and will call then. Don and Elaine
Don Grossman & Elaine Hirsch
USA -
To the family of Ben Abels: I read about Ben in the newspaper within days after the tsunami struck Thailand. I loved what you said that if he was able to help others on the beach, that it was probably what he was doing. I was instantly touched by your description of Ben - he sounds like a very kind and generous person...the type to reach out to others without asking for anything in return. My thoughts and prayers have been and will continue to be with you as you search for Ben. Warmly, Abby Katzen
Abby Katzen
NY, NY USA -
I just wanted to express to you that my thoughts and prayers are with you right now in your search. I'm a former classmate of Ben's from ETHS and have been following your news updates on his website. May he be rescued and returned home to you safely.
Susie Cusack
USA -