Missy Taylor - January 30th Memorial

I'm Missy. Ben and David's first cousin. Hope and Bob's niece. Benji is the youngest of the seven first cousins on the Brown side of the family. Although he was born almost a decade after me, we were close.

I loved the impromptu visits to Kansas City on his way here or there. Grommett usually in tow. Staying up until all hours of the night talking.

We connected, Benji and I.

I remember telling Benji about the two-week trip to Peru I took as my last "hurrah" before taking on the responsibilities of becoming a foster parent.

I remember describing for him my extraordinary four-day hike through the Andes mountains. Waking up before the sun rose to hike the crest in order to watch the sun rise over Machu Pichu, the lost city of the Incas, perfectly intact after 700 years. Describing the wonder and the awe.

And then receiving an email from him three years later, as I was on my way to Chicago with the kids to see his mom, my Aunt Hope, Bat Mitzvahed. "I just got back from that four-day hihke through the Andes Mountains ," he said. "And I watched the sun rise over Machu Pichu." He described the wonder and awe.

I have always looked at Benji in wonder and awe. He is an inspiration, really. Ben's life had purpose. And I don't necessarily mean a life dedicated to doing a greater good for humanity; although as well all know, Ben did that quite often.

But Ben was so true to himself.

Ben knew his passions.

Ben lived his passions.

In fact, I always think of ben when I receive those "if I had my life to live over" emails. You know, the ones that your family and friends forward to their entire email address list. They kind of go like this:

If I had my live to live over,

•  I would relax more.

•  I would be sillier.

•  I would never shoo shoo my kids when they kiss on me because I am in the middle of some important project.

•  I would take more chances.

•  I would climb more mountains and swim in more rivers

•  I would eat more ice cream and less beans.

•  I would try to have more moments.

•  Just moments.

•  One after the other

•  Instead of living so many years ahead of each day.

•  I would treasure every sunrise

•  Every raindrop that hit my nose

•  Every slobber of my dog.

Funny, but I bet Benji deleted those emails as soon as he got them; I think we all know that if Ben had his life to live over again, he wouldn't change a single thing. I mean face it, Benji actually treasured the slobber of his dog.

I think Ben is telling us something.

We only get one chance at life. This is it. This is all we get. We don't get to choose how our life ends. We only get to choose how we live. This is Ben's legacy; This is how we should remember Ben.

"We will remember Ben"

There is a prayer, included in The Gates of Prayer, a Reform Jewish prayer book, that I have taken the liberty of editing:

We Will Remember Ben

In the rising of the sun and in its going down, we will remember Ben;

In the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter, we will remember Ben;

In the opening of buds and in the rebirth of spring, we will remember Ben;

In the rustling of leaves and in the beauty of autumn, we will remember Ben;

In the beginning of the year and when it ends, we will remember Ben;

When we are weary and in need of strength, we will remember Ben;

When we are lost and sick at heart, we will remember Ben;

When we have happiness to share and triumphs to celebrate, we will remember Ben;

Because as we live, Ben also lives;

Ben is now a part of each one of us,

Every time we remember Ben.